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Pamela Joan Mayo passed away in Visalia, California on September 28th, 2023, peacefully with her beloved husband and partner in life, Mike Mayo, by her side as he has been for 39 relentlessly loving years. Pam and Mike met at Community Services and Employment Training (CSET) and became fast friends. It didn’t take too long or too many Ms. Pac-Man games to realize their friendship was special and deserved the attention and commitment a friendship like theirs could (and should) metamorphosize into. April 8th, 1984, was the first wedding I had attended. I didn’t know much about life, love, or commitment at that point, but I remember the day. My mom was at peace and happy. I had seen both versions of her but never the two at the same time and never the euphoric versions of the two at any point. Mom’s love for Mike was so evident and loyally pure that you couldn’t help but love their love story and want to be a small part of it, selfishly.
Pam loved her children, her siblings, and her parents and every animal that crossed her path. She wasn’t a fan of mosquitos but who is? She was born alongside her twin sister Peggy on January 1st , 1946 in Sidney, British Columbia to her parents Lew and Olive Lomas. Pam is survived by her brothers Mike Lomas and wife Jan, Lew Lomas the 3rd and wife Judy, Rob Lomas, Tim Lomas and wife Miranda and sisters Pat Nolan and husband Dan, Barbara Lay and predeceased husband Dick (taught me the Rodeo Song and liberated me to cuss at a very young age, Thanks Dick!!). Peggy, her beloved twin sister, passed away a few years ago and the gripping love they shared was so very special. Peggy lost her husband, Doug, to cancer. Doug was the sweetest man, to the core.
I never gave Pam’s spirit the respect it deserved. I cannot remember a single friend who visited the house who didn’t leave saying “Topher, your mom is the coolest (or best)” Mom was the life of any party, and she didn’t even drink alcohol. Her passion for fun, for love and life and all things social was beyond parallel. My siblings would all agree. Mom’s passion for others reeked out of her……she couldn’t hear a story or a trouble that she couldn’t find a fix for or, at the very least, associate with. From her sister, Pat, and perfectly described, “I have been thinking so much about your mom and what stands out to me in my memories of her. It always comes back to her generosity of spirit. She was so quick and so sincere in her enthusiastic approval of others. While she was working on Obama's election campaign, I showed her how to fold a letter so that the address would show in a window envelope. Pam's reaction was priceless and so typically Pam. Apparently, I am the smartest person ever! Even though I knew I had done nothing to deserve that praise I will always remember the warm feeling it gave me to be so enveloped in her positivity.
She was a wonderful big sister, and I will miss her badly.”
“Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.”
― Edgar Allan Poe
As much as Mom loved other humans. Her passion for her pets reigned supreme and the joy she got from them was something none of us could duplicate. Odie, Ben, Gracie, and especially Zach were the puppy loves of her life but Pam’s African Grey parrot, Emma, was her pride and joy. Emma often imitated Pam’s words….no surprise that most of those lines often included “Mike”.
Pam worked an illustrious career in sales. Pam sold on a foundation of caring and truth. She was wildly successful and beloved by her customers and coworkers. After CSET she worked at Brott Mechanical, Johnson Controls, Trane Company and owned her own company, West Coast Energy. While I never went to work with her, I could only imagine the amount of love and attention she poured into every project and relationship she developed. No one ever walked away not remembering Pam. From her brother, Tim Lomas, “She didn't "blend in. She was never one to be cowed or not speak her mind. She was never one to be "like everyone else." If there was something wild and crazy occurring, your mom was somewhere close at hand, with a big smile and a hearty laugh. Unafraid to speak her mind, you always knew where you stood with her. 'm sure in Heaven, wherever that may be for Pam, security has already been alerted that a non-conforming wild child is creating a ruckus and doesn't know why her standard issued wings don't go a lot faster! “
Pam is survived by her eldest son, Tom Carter and wife Michelle, her daughter, Heather Carter, her youngest son, Chris Carter and his partner Whitney, and her stepdaughters, Katie Horton and husband, Adam and Annie Dodge and husband, Derek. Her eldest daughter, Holly McKay, passed away in 2019. Pam dedicated her life to all her children and her 14 grandchildren and knew how much we all appreciated her as well. Ill never forget one of the last holidays we were all together and mom bought Bailey’s Irish Cream thinking it was a coffee creamer. Yeah, she never noticed a price tag and I love that about her so much. It was 11:30PM on Christmas Eve and she was on her third batch of cookies and laughing with a roar and smiling with the love of life she never let go of. She was hammered for the first time, maybe, in her life. She would have laughed and smiled just as much just because we were all there. But the Bailey’s made it so memorable. The presents were wrapped horribly that year.
We are grateful for the loving care mom received at Magnolia Park Assisted Living and from the staff at American Care Hospice. But we are more grateful for the 39 years of care and loving mom received from her best friend and love of her life, Mike Mayo. “But you’re mine” was one of the last things I ever heard mom say and it was to Mike during lunch at her favorite place, Sonic.
There will be no local funeral services per Pam’s wishes. Her ashes will be spread in Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada and there will be family gathering at a later date.